It often seems that cops love nothing more than to complain. Sure, there are the normal gripes and injustices and we all have our moments but then there are those we work with who are on a whole other level of misery – cops who seem to make it their job to be negative about everything and everyone. We’ve all worked with those people and they can be very hard to deal with. But, the truth is, we have to deal with them. We have to learn to work with them and engage with them professionally, but at the same time, we have to be careful about managing our own mindset and maintaining our own outlook.
So with this topic on my mind, I thought I’d share 5 Ways to Deal with Negative People.
Tip 1: Disengage.
Negative people can be a nuisance, but there are ways of dealing with them. One effective strategy is to disengage with them whenever possible. If they start to get on your nerves or you feel your own attitude starting to sink, find a reason to remove yourself from the conversation. It can be as simple as turning away and making a comment that you need to get back to work, or that you need to do some follow up somewhere – anywhere but where you are. Don’t let the vortex of a negative attitude pull you in.
Tip 2: Set Boundaries with Negative People
Some people are such a drain that it’s important to create clear and unambiguous boundaries with them. It’s simple, but not easy because it will require a very direct conversation with them. Tell them, kindly, but directly, that you don’t want to engage in conversations that are just about complaining or about topics that bring you down. Make sure they understand you’re open to other conversations with them that are productive and constructive, but that you don’t have any interest in joining their pitty-party. Stick to these limits as best you can.
Tip 3: Don’t Take the Bait
We’ve all heard the saying, “Misery loves company” right? When negative people start talking, they want more than anything else is for their beliefs to be reaffirmed by someone else. They want nothing more than for others to join in and wallow in their bad attitude because it bolsters their self-esteem. Instead, stay calm and polite. Change the subject, or if you’re close to the person and feel comfortable doing it, you might have the chance to show them where their thinking is wrong, misguided or tainted by their beliefs.
Tip 4: Save Yourself
There are plenty of people we work with that, no matter what you do or how hard you try, have already convinced themselves that everything is miserable, that the agency sucks, that everyone is out to get us and on and on and on…We’ve all worked with those people and if you haven’t yet, consider yourself lucky. The last thing you want in your career, is to end it bitter, angry and isolated. To avoid that, you have to be aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and you have to be willing to challenge them at times to see that there are positive things happening in your world. This is simple but not always easy but challenging your own negativity bias will keep you from spiraling down into the misery that others desperately want you to have.
Tip 5: Be Ready to Help
Negative people can be a real challenge to work with. They can be difficult to talk to, and they may not take kindly to any attempts at constructive criticism. However, it’s important not to shy away from dealing with negative people when necessary. There are times when it’s necessary to put a stop to their behavior, but there also might be some legitimate underlying reasons why they are feeling so down. One of the most powerful things you can do for your partners is to be willing to have difficult conversations with them. If you have a negative partner, there’s probably something happening behind the scenes that you don’t know about. Maybe it’s a medical condition, or marital or financial problems, or trauma from the job. It could be anything. If you’re brave enough, try to open up a conversation with them saying, “Hey, Mark…I’ve noticed you seem to be feeling really down recently and lots of things are affecting you here at work. Is there something going on that I can help you with?” Now here’s the kicker, you need to be ready and wanting to help if they’re ready to open up to you. Often times it’s referring them to other resources like EAP programs, in-house counseling, or free resources like The Squad Room.