Traver Boehm returns to the show with a deeply personal story about his recent divorce. Traver has talked about aspects of it before during previous episodes, but he was still very much grieving the loss of his marriage and a miscarriage.

Having spent 2016 exploring that grief – living in it, stewing in it – Traver returns to The Squad Room for an honest discussion about the worst year of his life, which also turned out to be the best year of his life.

Either way, it was also the hardest.

Traver wrote a hugely popular post on his blog titled, “8 Steps to Survive and Thrive After a Breakup or Divorce.”

That post helped a lot of people, and eventually led to his new book, Today, I Rise: How to Overcome the Gut-Wrenching Pain of Your Breakup or Divorce and Reclaim Your Life.  (affiliate link)

I wanted to have Traver on the show because cops get divorced…a lot. More than the average population.

Actually, it turns out, that’s not true. Cops get divorced at about the same rate as the rest of the population. Maybe it just “feels” like we get divorced more often, or maybe we just do it in a more spectacular fashion.

Either way, roughly half of the married cops listening to this are going to get divorced.


Even if you’re in a healthy marriage, I think there’s a lot of value in his proposition for dealing with any time of loss; death, relationships, retirements etc.

If you haven’t yet, check out Traver’s TEDx talk, appropriately titled, “How to Make Pain Your Guru.”

Traver also developed a course on meditation here on Teachable.

His website is

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